34. Mr Haywood's Account

Mr Haywood’s Account1
No 34
Until the subject was mentioned to me by F.P. it did not occur to me that the change in the manner of the lower orders had been so great as it really is, since my boyhood—say from 1780 to 1792—the period of the breaking out of the French revolution & the institution of the Sunday Schools – And not only of the lower orders, but the middling classes also. There was were for Master Tradesmen the Dog & Duck – the Temple of Flora The Apollo Gardens & several other Tea Gardens & Bowling Greens, Bagnigge Wells for all sorts – The Bull in the Pound – Merlin’s Cave. The Blue Lion &c for whores and rogues of all denominations not forgetting the Cock & Hen clubs – Cutter lads and flash & fancy men with the peculiar dress – Rollers at the cheeks striped silk stocking – numerous knee strings long quartered shoes & all en suite. But the great change is in the obscene ballads & songs in praise of thieving which were the  only ones sung about the streets – I’ll try to recollect a few odds & ends. xxxxxx A boy used to get a great collection of servant maids & other loiterers on market nights in the vicinity of Clare Market & get a great many half pence by singing the most bawdy ditties such as
   First he niggled her, then he tiggled her2
   Then with his two balls he began for to batter her
   At every thrust, I’d though[t] she’d have burst
   With the terrible size of his Morgan Rattler

A sort of Parody on this had an immense run for a long time
It began
   Great boasting of late I’ve heard of a feat3
   Of a terrible rake called Morgan Rattler
   But there’s one come to town will soon cut him down
   And he goes by the name of young Darby O’Golicker
This young handsome blade is a Blacksmith by trade
And well known by the lasses to be a great Rolicker 
The Ladies all cry as they see him pass by 
There goes the bold Hammerman Darby O’Golicker

At Mulligans Fair this young Blade Darby was there
With Nancy Adair that sweet pretty frolicker
Her gown she did pledge for the triangle wedge 
That was drove by the sledge of young Darby O’Golicker

It was very long & concluded thus

So now to conclude pray don’t think me rude
Since I’ve sung you a song of this bold young frolicker
Ah! Hoo! Morgan may sleep Here’s the boy that can sweep 
Full Twelve thirteeners off with his Darby O’Golicker
                                                      (  1  )

[verso, column 1]

       Another ran thus
    As I was coming from the play4
I met a fair maid by the way
She had rosy cheeks & a dimpled chin
With a Hole for to put Poor Robin in

A bed & blanket I have got
A dish a spoon a Kettle & Pot
Besides a charming pretty thing
That’s a hole for to put Poor Robin in

         Another called the female volunteers 
To batter the town the general comes
And brings along with him his 
Cannon & Bombs
But with Bag tho’ in Baggage 
away he steers
Dead beat by us female volunteers.5

Another descriptive of an old man
killed with a cough who cd. not
enjoy his wife ran
For tho’ he lays by me He
ne’r can enjoy me
For all the night long He is 
killed with a cough
      after entering fully into
     particulars it concluded
I’ll have a look out for some 
lusty young fellow
who’s able to give me some 
reason to laugh
And when I have met with 
this lusty young fellow
I’ll pitch to the Devil 
both him and his cough.6

There was another about tying 
a mouse to a man’s yard which
had no erection & letting a cat 
into the room to run away with
[column 2]
Another called Dadabum Doo 
descriptive of female parts ran
It’s rough & hairy & knowing[?] too
And goes by the name of Dadabum Doo

A celebrated one descriptive of 
copulation on a cobblers stall
The cobbler hearing of a riot
Thro’ a crevice poked his awl
He pricked the lady in the Arse
And Who threw the Rider off the Race

They were chiefly descriptive of 
copulation.   a great favourite 
ended in chorus
     Fal de riddle de And the Hammers
went Knick Knock

Sally McGee gave an account 
of her foxing different tradesmen
&c — the lawyer ran thus
I resolved his quill with the 
coal of curiosity — Run straight 
to your Doctor says Sally McGee

Another about tradesmen (Butchers)
But I’d have the young women
beware of their steel
If they blow up their wives as
They blow up their Veal

Some say that a Tailor my 
Husband shall be
But a Tailor good Lord why
he’s no man for me
For his nose & his arse
So near they do meet
That I think that his breath  
     can hardly be sweet

                                                      (  2  )

In short tho’ there were a great number of songs &
Ballad Singers they were invariably bawdy or what was 
termed flash / no others were circulated in that manner
   The flash songs were openly in praise of thieving
     Come all you roving blades who in thieving7 
                                                                     take delight
     with your pops in your pocket & your 
     cutlass in your Hand
     Ride boldly to the diligence & bid the buggers stand

The exploits of Teddy Blink & Bandy Jack in8
thieving in a church had a great run

The Rolling Kiddy was a great favourite the9 
chorus was
     This is the way to be a Rolling Kiddy O
     The Blowings will admire you & swear you are 
                                                                The Tippy O
Harris’s List of Covent Garden Ladies with their prices was
publickly placarded & sold by booksellers who were thought
decent – Bawdy Books were publickly put out on

                                                      (  3  )

Editor's Notes

1. The title for this section appears on a separate page, not pictured here.

2. See Place No. 15, "Morgan Rattler"

3. The title "Darby O'Gollaker" also appears in Place's manuscript though has been crossed out.

4. See Place No. 16, "A Hole to Put Poor Robin In"

5. Haywood is referring to the "The Female Volunteers" by George Alexander Stevens. (Madden Reel 12, Frame 8779). The Madden version contains the sheet music. See also Gatrell City of Laughter, p.381).
6. This is a variant of the song "The Doating Old Man / The Languishing Maid / Old Man Killed by A cough" (Roud V13326) The version closest to the one remembered by Haywood can be found in the songster the Goldfinch, Being A Collection of the Newest Songs Now Singing at the Theatres, Public Gardens and Other Places of Public and Polite  Amusement printed by J. Evans (c. 1791)

7. See Place No. 10, "With my popps in my pocket"

8. See Place No. 21, "Teddy Blink and Bandy Jack"

9. See Place No. 19, "The Rolling Kiddy O"


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